What is a MIAM and what does it involve?

What is a MIAM?

A MIAM, or Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting, is usually the first step if you are considering family mediation or thinking about making an application to court regarding children or finances.

It is a confidential, one-to-one meeting with a qualified mediator. Its purpose is to help you understand your options, including whether mediation might be suitable for your situation.

For many people, it is also the first opportunity to step out of the stress of the situation and talk things through with someone neutral and experienced.

Why do I need a MIAM?

In most cases, attending a MIAM is a legal requirement before applying to court for matters relating to children or finances.

The idea behind this is simple. Court should not always be the first step. Where it is safe and appropriate, mediation can help families resolve issues more calmly, more quickly, and often with less cost.

That said, mediation is not suitable for every situation. A MIAM gives you the space to explore whether it is right for you, without any pressure to proceed.

What happens during a MIAM?

A MIAM is a private meeting between you and the mediator. The other person involved does not attend this session.

During the meeting, you can expect to:

• Talk through your situation and what has brought you to mediation
• Discuss any concerns, including communication difficulties or safety issues
• Learn how mediation works and what the process would look like
• Explore other options, including legal routes, if mediation is not suitable
• Ask any questions you may have about next steps

The mediator will also assess whether mediation is appropriate, taking into account factors such as safety, willingness to engage, and the nature of the issues involved.

Is everything I say confidential?

Yes. What you share in a MIAM is confidential.

This means you can speak openly about your situation, your concerns, and what you are hoping to achieve. The mediator will not share this information with the other person without your agreement, except in very specific circumstances, such as concerns about safety.

This confidentiality helps create a space where you can think clearly and make informed decisions about what to do next.

What happens after a MIAM?

After your meeting, there are a few possible outcomes.

If mediation feels appropriate and you are willing to try it, the mediator will invite the other person to attend their own MIAM. If both of you agree, mediation can then begin.

If mediation is not suitable, or one person chooses not to take part, the mediator can sign the relevant section of your court application form to confirm that you have attended a MIAM. This allows you to move forward with a court application if needed.

In some cases, you may also be given information about other forms of support that could help, depending on your situation.

What if my ex refuses to attend a MIAM?

This is a common concern, and it does happen.

If you attend a MIAM and the other person chooses not to engage, or does not respond to the invitation, you are still able to move forward.

In this situation, the mediator can sign the relevant section of your court application form to confirm that you have attended a MIAM. This allows you to proceed with a court application if needed.

It is also worth knowing that some people decline at first because they feel unsure or anxious about the process. With more information or time to reflect, they may become more open to mediation later on.

Even if mediation does not go ahead straight away, attending a MIAM still gives you clarity about your options and helps you take a considered next step.

How long does a MIAM take?

A MIAM typically lasts around 45 minutes to an hour.

This allows enough time to explore your situation, understand your options, and ask any questions you may have, without feeling rushed.

Do both people have to attend?

Each person attends their own MIAM separately.

This ensures that both of you have the opportunity to speak freely and understand the process in your own time before making any decisions about mediation.

A calm place to start

Taking the first step can often feel like the hardest part.

A MIAM is not about committing to mediation or making decisions on the spot. It is simply a chance to understand your options, ask questions, and begin to think about the best way forward for you and your family.

If you are unsure what to do next, starting with a MIAM can give you clarity, reassurance, and a sense of direction at a time when things may feel uncertain.